How Can I Handle My Jealousy For What Other People Have?
January 28th, 2012 | 
Author: I am not as wealthy as many other people at school are. For example, there is this guy named Wal in my class and his father has his own business. Therefore he is able to buy Wal and his younger brother branded clothing, branded shoes, any games they want, any gadgets they want, etc. There is another guy at school named Matt who seems to get basically everything. He has an iPod touch, iPod nano, beats by dre, three smartphones (and is thinking of getting another one), etc. There is also another person at school named Dan who seems to get things when he wants them. He asked for a MacBook Pro and he got it in a few days, he asked for a laptop battery and he got it in a few days, etc. I don't want to be jealous but at the moment, I am. I don't get a quarter of the things that these people get and I don't get anything for my birthday. To make things worse, basically everyone I know got something for Christmas. Things such as smartphones, clothes, iPads, laptops, etc but I got nothing at Christmas. Yet all of the people I mentioned get whatever they want for their birthdays and at Christmas and it seems like the price does not matter. I have been told previously to appreciate what I do have, but when I see people having these things and talking about it at school, I really have trouble doing that. We are all teenagers by the way and the people I mentioned above are not even old enough to get jobs.
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You are the winner in the end, bc once u all grow up, and it actually matters what all u were able to learn in ur teens, u will have learned the value of a dollar, whereas they will have not. All of my best friends in high school were rich kids, and i had to buy my own cell and car at 18. Fast forward 10 years, and here I am making $50,000/yr as an RN, as a combined $100,000/yr with my Naval Aviator husband, and just as i suspected, my spoiled bffs are either still living off mommy and daddy, or barely making it by bc neither them nor the people they chose to marry have any skill/education.
I have definitely felt the way you feel when I was in school in the 90s and new millenium, but my thing was clothing. It’s kinda funny because I was a tomboy at the time, so I envied the clothing of girls and guys. They had name brand clothing but I didn’t, and I didn’t even have a large selection of clothes to choose from. I overheard one girl talking about how she doesn’t wear the same outfit in two months and that made me feel bad because I pretty much wore the same thing every week. And I won’t even talk about my two pair of shoes that I had to wear year round while my peers had a number of shoes to pick from.
As an adult, I can tell you that kids who have all of these gadgets, fine clothing, and whatever else they ask for are only getting those things; they do not get what they really want and need, like the love and attention of a parent. Parents who spoil their children by catering to their every whim do so only out of a guilty conscience because they barely see their kids, and when they do it is very brief. But such catering comes with a high price as the things their kids ask for are expensive. I know your peers are not working, but when they do begin working and see how hard it is to keep up with paying for the things they want, they will learn another lesson about the value of a dollar.
I don’t know your situation, but if you are getting love and attention from your family then your peers are more jealous of you than you know. I’m sure you have a few comforts, and your parents work hard to provide those things for you. Good parents do not need to buy love from their children, and they do not damage their self-value by allowing them to associate high self-esteem with the things they own.
As for exchanging gifts during Christmas and birthday parties, both have unsavory origins. However, the Bible says, “Let each one do just as he has resolved in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7) When a person gives a gift for a gift-exchanging holiday or birthday, it is under compulsion and this verse says that is wrong. Think about it, how many times have you overheard people talking about how they have to get a gift for a person they don’t really like, or complaining about a gift they received from someone they don’t like, for especially Christmas? Personally, I hear it all the time. Yet, people continue to give gifts because they feel compelled to do so because of the event.
On the other hand, that same verse encourages giving from the heart. This means that a person wants to give a gift because he thinks the person will enjoy it, and it may not be for any specific reason at all. My parents have never celebrated my birthday or gave me Christmas presents, but they gave me plenty of gifts throughout the year. I remember one time when I got all As and Bs on my report card and made the honor roll. My mother had flowers delivered to my high school with a teddy bear. It wasn’t for Christmas or for my birthday, and it wasn’t a high-falluting technological gadget, but it was heartfelt.
When parents give children everything they ask for, it diminishes the value of the gift. For example, think about the rich man who showers his children with everything they ask for. Sure, the child may seem happy at first, but do you really think he will value the gift? Not really. He may lose it or let a friend borrow it and do lord knows what to it because he knows that if something happens to it he can get another one. When you get gifts from your hardworking parents, I’m sure you really appreciate their attempt to make your life a little more comfortable and interesting without spoiling you.
I know that was a lot, but I hope this helps you to adjust your viewpoint a little. I know that as a teen it is easy to only see the trees, but remember to back up and see the forest. In other words, right now you see the expensive things your peers have, but back up a little and see the implications of that. These young people are not having a good family life for one reason or another. You may be wondering if that’s really true for all of them. It very well could be. Broken families are the norm, and it seems like many families that are still together are bonded with weak glue. Then think of all the stress and problems that parents go through, a lot of which affects the child. Oh yeah. I’d definitely say your peers do not have a happy home life if they are getting everything they want.
Lastly, I just want to commend you on your fine writing skills. Many people your age terribly ignore grammar, especially when typing online. Ever think about becoming a writer or an editor? You would be great!